Socializing Safely Today

We know that having regular, caring and stimulating social contact is vital to older adults’ (and everyone else’s!) physical and cognitive health. Sometimes, though, we have to figure out how to stay in touch when visits aren’t possible.

Right now, visiting is inadvisable for many. So, what can children and other caring people do? How creative can you be?

Here are some ideas to start the creativity ball rolling:

  • Help your loved one use digital platforms, such as Facetime or Skype; then have “face to face” conversations.
  • Send text messages full of loving emojis.
  • Email digital greeting cards and photographs.
  • Arrange for delivery of your loved one’s favorite prepared (and safe) meals.
  • Place a bucket of pansies or tulips outside a window to color the view.
  • And, of course, call often. Regular calls, even several short ones during the day, will help your loved one socialize from a distance.

The Gift of Caregiving

A Caregiver’s Story

For several years, Taylor took care of her mother, Rebecca, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. Taylor made sure that her mother was fed, bathed and dressed, had her medical needs met, and took part in activities she enjoyed. Caregiving was a 24/7 responsibility.

When Rebecca passed away, a close friend said kindly, “Taylor, you are a saint. You took excellent care of your mother for such a long time.” Taylor, however, smiled at her friend and said “This wasn’t about being a saint. Sure, it was stressful to be responsible for my mother’s needs and it was heartbreaking to see her decline. But in the end, I felt that having the opportunity to care for my mom was a gift for me.”

Caregiving: A Gift

Taking care of a person who has a disability is critically important. Providing meals, grooming, medical care, therapy and companionship make an enormous difference in the quality of the “caree’s” (the loved one or client) life. What is not as obvious is the impact of caregiving on the caregivers themselves. Caregiving is stressful, time consuming and costly, but it can also be the source of satisfaction, selflessness…and a gift.

How to See Caregiving as a Gift

Each caregiver sees the positive in different ways. However, there are some general guidelines for focusing on how caregiving enriches lives.

  • Notice the positive moments: Focus on the times your caree can’t explain why he is agitated, but you figure out what he needs and make him comfortable; the times when you enter the room and your caree breaks into an ear-to-ear smile; the times that you help your loved one enjoy a lovely spring day or reminisce about his childhood.
  • Feel their love and appreciation: Focus on the ways your caree gives and receives a hug, delights in a favorite cupcake you take to her, or uses words and gestures to say how special you are in her life.
  • Think about your relationship: Are you “giving back” to a parent who cared for you throughout your life? Are you establishing a new bond with a loved one by using words, gestures or just being nearby? Are you getting to know a person with their own unique personalities?
  • Celebrate your abilities: Recognize and congratulate yourself for being able and willing to take on caregiving. Not everyone can do this. You can and did!

After months or years of providing support, the caregiver can look back on having contributed to a loved one’s healthier and more satisfying quality of life. What greater gift can the caree and the caregiver receive?

Would you like help with caregiving? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com

Cold Weather & Dementia

It is winter . . . really winter. . . with temperatures in the teens and 20s, heavy gloves, warm soup, and a genuine reluctance to be outside if we are not skating or skiing. Still, most of us know how to navigate and even enjoy a crisp cold day.

But what about a person who has a dementia? Do you know the dangers of cold weather for older adults and individuals with dementia?

During cold weather, you may find folks

Living in cold homes without realizing the danger of being cold

Venturing outside without warm clothing or protection from wet weather

Experiencing low body temperatures as a result of taking medications or drinking alcohol

Falling on ice and becoming disoriented in snow falls

The overall concern is hypothermia, which is a condition in which the body temperature is dangerously low. Hypothermia can cause confusion, disorientation, problems with communication and behavior, and physical impairment. Hypothermia may lead to death.

Caregivers can help by being sure that older adults and individuals with dementia stay in warm environments, eat well to ensure healthy body “insulation,” and avoid activities that might lead to hypothermia.

We can also help individuals with a dementia enjoy lovely winter days. As always, care giving involves sharing positive experiences with an extra layer of safety. For our cold crisp days, let’s help our loved ones with cozy wool scarves, bowls of warm soups . . . and hand-in-hand ventures to see beautiful snow falls.

 

For a brief overview of ways to avoid and treat hypothermia, see the Alzheimer’s & Dementia Weekly article, Hypothermia.

 

Should Older Adults Write New Year’s Resolutions?

When we were children, we couldn’t wait to stay up until the ball dropped in Times Square, the confetti was tossed, someone sang Auld Lang Syne … or whatever meant that we didn’t have to be in bed at the usual time.

As young adults, we looked for parties and threw the confetti ourselves. We were mature enough, we believed, to take on the world. We wrote New Year’s resolutions that we took seriously, for a couple of days at least.

And then in middle age, we may have been a bit more subdued, but noting the year and thinking about the future were still important for December 31.

So, what about older adults? Have they seen it all? Are they “over” celebrating? Should they have a special early afternoon party and plan to be in bed at the usual pre-midnight time?

I suggest, rather emphatically, no!

As long as older adults are physically and cognitively healthy, celebrating and writing resolutions can still have real meaning for them. Planning new activities, engagement with family and friends, volunteering or working, refurnishing their houses or moving to new communities . . . new life adventures . . . may be some of their resolutions for the new year.

As C. S. Lewis wrote

Are you an older adult? Do you live with or care for an older adult?

I invite you to take time to celebrate the new year and write your resolutions for 2019!

If you would like suggestions for New Year’s Eve celebrations and making resolutions, look at New Year’s Eve & Resolutions (Home Care Assistance) and New Year’s Eve Party Ideas (Medicare).

Celebrating Holidays When a Loved One Has a Dementia

The winter holidays are here! Thanksgiving with turkey and the trimmings, conversation, football on TV, and family games. Kwanza, Christmas and Chanukah are next. What warm memories of these celebrations many of us have and how much we would like to participate in all our usual traditions.

But . . .

We are caring for a loved one who has a dementia. Everyone is adjusting to new ways of living our daily lives. We don’t have energy for all our usual preparations. And some of the old traditions aren’t appropriate for a person who has a dementia.

How can we have our special holidays? Here are a few quick tips.

  • Adjust your celebrations.
    • Modify and simplify your traditions, keeping some of the special memories.
    • Involve your loved one in holiday activities that are comfortable and safe for him or her.
  • Communicate with family and friends.
    • Talk about your loved one’s strengths and changes.
    • Plan new traditions together.
  • Take care of yourself.
    • Ask for help with holiday tasks and caring for your loved one.
    • Arrange for respite time . . . quiet time, pampering, exercise . . . for you.

Holidays can still be special for you, your family and friends.

Enjoy the possible. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy new traditions.

For more about holiday celebrations, read the National Institute on Aging article, “Holiday Hints for Alzheimer’s Caregivers” at https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/holiday-hints-alzheimers-caregivers.

 

 

 

Caregiving: Can You Make Medical Decisions?

Who Can Make Medical Decisions in a World with HIPPA?

American’s medical records are protected by the Health Information Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Neither friends nor relatives have access to our medical information without the express consent of the patient.

This is usually comforting in a world with so much data and so much communication!

But what happens when a senior needs help with his or her medical decisions? What happens if there are end of life decisions to be made?

Three legal documents give others insight and permissions on behalf of a senior.

  • HIPAA authorization gives permission to the doctor to share medical information with the person(s) that the patient names.
  • An advance health care directive (living will) lists/describes an individual’s preferences about medical care, including whether certain life-sustaining treatments should be administered.
  • A medical power of attorney (health care proxy, durable power of attorney for health care) identifies someone who can act on behalf of the individual if needed.

It is not always comfortable to think about illness and end of life decisions. However, there are many resources available that can help. Attorneys are skilled at advising and preparing the documents. Information and forms are available in print and on the Internet, as well.

For a brief description of medical powers of attorney and living wills, look at WebMD.com’s Advance Directives.

 

Is This Dementia? Memory Changes

He isn’t remembering well. Does He Have a Dementia?

How often has a loved one forgotten something and, for a split second, you said to yourself, “Why didn’t he remember that? What does this mean? Should I be concerned?” Here are guidelines to help you.

The car keys are missing. Is he losing his memory?!

  • We all put our house keys down and forget where we put them.
  • We forget a name even though we know the person.
  • We go to the supermarket for eggs and come home with coffee, bread . . . but no eggs.

Are these signs of dementia?

Everyone forgets from time to time. As we get older, we forget more often.

However, it is not a sign of dementia if we can remember the keys, name and eggs after a little while and our forgetting doesn’t stop us from carrying out our normal activities.

Some forgetting is normal. Taking a little longer to remember as we get older is also normal.

Memory changes that interfere with independent activities – our work, social life, conversations, reading and learning – may indicate a health problem that should be checked by a doctor.

These memory changes may include

  • Not being able to find the right words to express something, not following a conversation, or having difficult completing a thought
  • Forgetting names of people and places
  • Being confused about where one is, not knowing how to get to a familiar location, or not being able to retrace one’s steps
  • Having difficulty recalling the information needed to make appropriate judgements and decisions
  • Not recalling where an item has been placed even with time and effort

HelpGuide.org offers a quick look at how to figure out what forgetting the car keys might indicate at What Does My Forgetting Mean?