Feeling a Little Discouraged by Virus Concerns? Sing a Song!

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

“I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.” – William James

What a great thought! We are looking for ways to feel happy and engaged while still coping with pandemic concerns and rules. How about singing?

If music is not a big part of your life, consider this:

  • Singing familiar songs reduces stress: Breaking into song signals the brain to send hormones (endorphins) through your brain and body that make you feel more content and less stressed. And as researchers have shown, decreasing stress improves overall health and longevity!
  • Singing connects you to pleasant memories: Even people who have concerns about how well they remember find that songs from their childhood or their first love come back to them when they sing, with all the words and feelings they had when they were younger.
  • Singing improves brain function: When you sing, you use many parts of your brain and build new pathways between the cells in your brain. This improves your ability to remember and increases your brain’s “reserve” for remembering in the future.
  • Singing can increase social interactions: Singing in a choir or singing at home with family is not only fun but gives you a chance to build social connections. People who have close bonds with others are happier and healthier.
  • Music has a direct impact on mood and wellness; it has been shown to ease pain, shorten recovery time from illness, and lift feelings of anxiety and depression: How about singing out loud or listening to a favorite playlist?
  • And let’s add some movement to increase the benefits: Tapping your feet, swaying to the rhythm, or whirling around the room with your best version of Beyoncé or Mozart is terrific for the brain and body. Each time you move to music, challenging your brain to coordinate dance steps and melodies, you exercise your muscles, build cardiovascular health and improve your ability to  remember and think.

Singing, dancing  . . . music in general . . . are good for your health, enjoyable, and with the challenges of the pandemic, a particularly helpful way to reduce stress!

Dr. Cheryl Greenberg works as a coach, or guide, for seniors and their families as they consider and plan for changes in their lives. During the pandemic, she leads support groups to help folks stay engaged in creative ways. To join a group or coach with Cheryl, contact her at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com or 336-202-5669.

Staying Engaged during the Pandemic

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

We are tired of COVID. We are bored with Zoom meetings and missing our friends and family. Days seem to repeat themselves and, as I hear often from coaching clients, we have more time on our hands, but we seem to be doing less.

It’s OK. We can handle this . . . and we should handle it.

After all, we know that staying actively engaged in work, play and social activities is very important to our mental and physical health and even to our ability to remember and problem solve.

So, what are some creative ways we can jump through the hoops of COVID caution for a while longer?

Congratulate Yourself for Your Successes

First, congratulate yourself for the creative ways you have already stayed active and connected to other people.

Noticing your flexibility and creativity is good for your self-esteem, which in turn increases the “healthy hormones” in your body and brain. You remember better, feel happier and are healthier when you have a sense of accomplishment.

Connect with Others

Many people report that they have adjusted to having less face-to-face time with family and friends and have learned to fly solo for work and entertainment.

However, Dr. Susan Pinker tells us that having regular social contact is incredibly important for our physical and mental health. People who are in regular contact with others have fewer health problems, remember better and even live longer!

So, let’s think of new ways to stay closely connected with others.

  • Invite friends to join you for a book group or a virtual tour of Europe.
  • Use an app, such as Netflix Plus, to watch an award winning movie with family members and discuss the film.
  • Schedule online problem solving meetings for work and volunteering.
  • Use a meeting platform to share your new baking (carpentry, gardening or decorating) skills with family. Invite them to work along with you while you give advice.

Commit to New Learning and Adventures

Create new activities that challenge you physically and mentally. This will perk you up, motivate you, get you involved. And, as Dr. Sanjay Gupta writes, novel activities encourage brains to form new cells and pathways; they improve memory and thinking!

  • Have you wanted to be an advocate for social justice, decreasing hunger, consumer rights? Reach out to local libraries, community centers, interfaith organizations to ask how you can help.
  • Have you always wanted to learn another language or build a computer? Find classes online through university emeritus programs, Shepherd’s Centers, art museums and libraries.
  • Local and national organizations need virtual volunteers. Contact VolunteerMatch.com or local organizations, such as the Volunteer Center of the Triad to match your interests with community needs.
  • Exercise is good for your body and brain . . . and can be done with others virtually. Try a fitness activity that is new and challenging, such as tai chi, yoga or strength training.

Most importantly, create your own connections and adventures for staying engaged during the pandemic. Share them with others and “jump through the hoop of COVID cautions” for a little while longer.

New Holiday Traditions for New Times

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

Fall is in the air. We are ready for pumpkin spices, sparkling holiday lights and enjoyable moments with families and friends, BUT

These are new times. Holidays this year will be different. After all, we all want to stay safe from COVID-10 and the flu.

So, how do we celebrate the holiday and still protect ourselves and our loved ones?

Here are some ideas to start your own creative ideas flowing.

Keep many of your familiar traditions.

  • Holiday meals with people who live with you

Plan favorite foods that bring back the sights and tastes of holidays past. The group may be smaller than last year, but the nostalgia will be the same.

  • Holiday decorations, cards and phone calls

Making homes special for a holiday and sharing greetings bring joy to holidays. Have you always had a jack-o-lantern or sent cards? Consider even more decorations, cards and calls this year to create holiday feelings and adjust for some of the distancing you may be feeling.

  • Gifts, food and flowers delivered to the door of loved ones

Doing for others is a special part of holidays. You can still share special treats; just stay at a distance.

  • In-person outdoor visits with people who are symptom free

Some people may choose to have time together, face to face. An outdoor heater and spiced tea will make this comfortable when the temperature drops. Of course, if choose to meet in person, be sure to wear masks, stay at least six feet apart, and wash often. Remember “Safety First!”

Create new traditions that fit today’s needs.

  • Holiday meals, decorating and sharing gift opening – at a distance, at the same time

Decide on a time to meet online and enjoy seeing each other celebrate.  Zoom, HouseParty and other digital platforms let you have dinner together, share holiday songs and candle lighting, and watch the delight of folks as they open gifts.

  • Holiday movies, concerts and travel

Invite your loved ones to download an online video of a favorite holiday movie, decorations from around the world or a holiday concert. Ask everyone to watch the program at the same time you do. Call during or after the show to chat about what you saw.

  • Sharing your favorite recipes or decorating tips

Use your phone or tablet to record you setting up a holiday display or baking special cookies. Send the video to your loved ones. Put  your phones on speaker mode and  talk them through the steps of the project while they try it out

What are your creative ideas for new traditions for new times? Sharing your ideas with others is, in itself, a way to enjoy the holidays this year.

For support during social distancing and more ideas for staying connected, join The Age Coach’s weekly online conversations. Contact TheAgeCoach@gmail.com for information.

How to Decide about “Aging in Place”

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

In the last few years, a number of studies found that about 90% of mature adults reported that they wanted to “age in place.” That is, they didn’t want to leave their homes; they didn’t see retirement communities or assisted living as desirable for themselves.

Recently, though, the number of people who plan to age in place has decreased some. People are noticing  that in-home caregivers, who may be needed at some point, are sometimes difficult to find. Others are concerned about becoming isolated as they stop working, drive less and generally are more cautious about venturing out at night or in inclement weather. And some people feel pressure to “make a decision now,” to move into a Continuous Care Retirement Community (a CCRC) where they can live independently, hearing that they will not be admitted by some CCRCs if they develop a need for health assistance.

Of course, you will make the choice that is best for you; but before you do, here are some ideas to think about that might help with your decision making. Your answers to these questions will help you make plans for staying in place.

  1. Have you completed a financial check-up? For example, how much money would you need to stay in your home or move to a retirement community? What can you afford now? If you stay in place, what arrangements have you made to ensure that your living arrangements, home maintenance, food, transportation, health care and entertainment are covered?
  • How is your health (and the health of anyone else with whom you live)? Do you have many health needs? Which friend or family member would you call on if you needed assistance with activities of daily living or a medical issue? Which professional agency might you hire?
  • How safe is your home? What adjustments would make your home safer if, for example, steps or bathtubs become a problem or someone in the home becomes confused?
  • How comfortable is your home? Would it be easier and safer to stay in your home if you sorted through and gave away some of your possessions and memorabilia? Do you have HVAC, seating, carpeting, etc. that are appropriate for any physical changes you may experience?
  • Can you socialize frequently? Do you live close to loved ones and friends whom you can easily see if transportation isn’t available or you do not drive? How might you stay in touch with friends and family from a distance, if necessary?
  • And, now looking at some of these questions, think again about your financial check-up. Are you ready for home modifications, assistance for health care and home maintenance, and other changes for your comfort and safety if staying in place is your choice? Budget now for the “just in case” scenes.

Answering these questions will provide you with a solid foundation for making healthy, safe and satisfying plans to stay in your home.

I would be happy to meet with you as you think through your plans . . . and help you find experts in finances, downsizing and such if you need these services.

Conversations during this Unusual Time: Join In!

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

I am so excited about that we now have two opportunities to support each other at this unusual time.

Consider joining the conversations. They are free, informal . . . and lovely ways to share and de-stress together!

Socializing with a Creative Touch: Ideas for Staying in Touch with Family and Friends
Wednesday through April 29 (and maybe longer!) at 3:00pm.
Zoom link: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/730077770

We know that having regular, caring and stimulating social contact is essential for older adults’ (and everyone else’s!) physical and cognitive health, but right now, visiting isn’t possible for many.

Let’s share: What can children and other caring people do? How creative can you be? Come to share and make new friends!

So How Are You Feeling Today? A Chance to Release and Relax Mondays at 1:00pm, from April 20 through May 4:
Zoom link: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/77067866776

Several of us talked about the possibility of setting up a meeting where we could share some of our feelings of discomfort and concern and, at the same time, feel the support of the group.

Join the conversation. We will share and de-stress together!

It isn’t difficult to join: Click the link (above), select “Zoom Meeting”in the blue box, and then select the blinking blue arrow on the upper right side of the screen. You will be ready to share!

Of course, email or call me if you would like to talk 1:1.

Hope to see you at the meetings!

Cheryl

Socializing Safely Today

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

We know that having regular, caring and stimulating social contact is vital to older adults’ (and everyone else’s!) physical and cognitive health. Sometimes, though, we have to figure out how to stay in touch when visits aren’t possible.

Right now, visiting is inadvisable for many. So, what can children and other caring people do? How creative can you be?

Here are some ideas to start the creativity ball rolling:

  • Help your loved one use digital platforms, such as Facetime or Skype; then have “face to face” conversations.
  • Send text messages full of loving emojis.
  • Email digital greeting cards and photographs.
  • Arrange for delivery of your loved one’s favorite prepared (and safe) meals.
  • Place a bucket of pansies or tulips outside a window to color the view.
  • And, of course, call often. Regular calls, even several short ones during the day, will help your loved one socialize from a distance.

The Gift of Caregiving

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

A Caregiver’s Story

For several years, Taylor took care of her mother, Rebecca, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. Taylor made sure that her mother was fed, bathed and dressed, had her medical needs met, and took part in activities she enjoyed. Caregiving was a 24/7 responsibility.

When Rebecca passed away, a close friend said kindly, “Taylor, you are a saint. You took excellent care of your mother for such a long time.” Taylor, however, smiled at her friend and said “This wasn’t about being a saint. Sure, it was stressful to be responsible for my mother’s needs and it was heartbreaking to see her decline. But in the end, I felt that having the opportunity to care for my mom was a gift for me.”

Caregiving: A Gift

Taking care of a person who has a disability is critically important. Providing meals, grooming, medical care, therapy and companionship make an enormous difference in the quality of the “caree’s” (the loved one or client) life. What is not as obvious is the impact of caregiving on the caregivers themselves. Caregiving is stressful, time consuming and costly, but it can also be the source of satisfaction, selflessness…and a gift.

How to See Caregiving as a Gift

Each caregiver sees the positive in different ways. However, there are some general guidelines for focusing on how caregiving enriches lives.

  • Notice the positive moments: Focus on the times your caree can’t explain why he is agitated, but you figure out what he needs and make him comfortable; the times when you enter the room and your caree breaks into an ear-to-ear smile; the times that you help your loved one enjoy a lovely spring day or reminisce about his childhood.
  • Feel their love and appreciation: Focus on the ways your caree gives and receives a hug, delights in a favorite cupcake you take to her, or uses words and gestures to say how special you are in her life.
  • Think about your relationship: Are you “giving back” to a parent who cared for you throughout your life? Are you establishing a new bond with a loved one by using words, gestures or just being nearby? Are you getting to know a person with their own unique personalities?
  • Celebrate your abilities: Recognize and congratulate yourself for being able and willing to take on caregiving. Not everyone can do this. You can and did!

After months or years of providing support, the caregiver can look back on having contributed to a loved one’s healthier and more satisfying quality of life. What greater gift can the caree and the caregiver receive?

Would you like help with caregiving? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com

Dementia Diagnosis: Doctors and Questions

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

When you or a loved one is concerned about the possibility of having a dementia, getting a thorough evaluation is the next step. Knowing and understanding what is happening will help you with interventions and planning.

So, what should you do? Here is a brief list of considerations and steps to take:

Select a physician.

  • Consider the physician’s knowledge and comfort regarding working with older adults.
  • Consider making an appointment with a geriatrician, a physician who is specially trained to diagnose and treat older adults. Don’t necessarily avoid other doctors, including family practitioners and internists, though; they often have the same knowledge and skills.
  • Understand that additional specialists may be included in the diagnostic and treatment process. They may include neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other specialists as needed.

Schedule a doctor’s appointment, which will include several types of examinations.

  • Physical exam, including
    • medical history
    • family medical history
    • physical exam
    • laboratory tests of blood and urine, particularly to rule out other possible causes of symptoms
    • review of prescribed medications, patient-opted medications, and supplements
  • Social and behavioral profile, particularly a log of recent changes and concerns as seen by the patient and/or others
  • Neurological exam
    • assessment of balance, reaction time, reflexes, coordination, muscle tone, speech, sensation, etc.
    • ruling out of conditions and diseases, such tumors and strokes
  • Mental status test that evaluates awareness, memory, problem solving, executive function
  • Psychological evaluation, often to rule out other causes of dementia symptoms, such as depression, anxiety, other mental illness concerns/illnesses
  • Brain scans (not routinely administered)

Ask the doctor questions to be sure you understand the diagnosis.

  • Diagnosis by name
  • Evidence that underlies the diagnosis: What did the doctor see in exams and tests that led to the diagnosis?
  • Doctor’s assessment of the current stage of the disease
  • Possible interventions, including therapies and medications
  • The role of the doctor going forward

Would you like help navigating the diagnosis process? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com to discuss your concerns and plan the next steps in getting and understanding a diagnosis.

Should Older Adults Write New Year’s Resolutions?

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

When we were children, we couldn’t wait to stay up until the ball dropped in Times Square, the confetti was tossed, someone sang Auld Lang Syne … or whatever meant that we didn’t have to be in bed at the usual time.

As young adults, we looked for parties and threw the confetti ourselves. We were mature enough, we believed, to take on the world. We wrote New Year’s resolutions that we took seriously, for a couple of days at least.

And then in middle age, we may have been a bit more subdued, but noting the year and thinking about the future were still important for December 31.

So, what about older adults? Have they seen it all? Are they “over” celebrating? Should they have a special early afternoon party and plan to be in bed at the usual pre-midnight time?

I suggest, rather emphatically, no!

As long as older adults are physically and cognitively healthy, celebrating and writing resolutions can still have real meaning for them. Planning new activities, engagement with family and friends, volunteering or working, refurnishing their houses or moving to new communities . . . new life adventures . . . may be some of their resolutions for the new year.

As C. S. Lewis wrote

http://www.agingbutdangerous.com/humor/new-years-quotes/

Are you an older adult? Do you live with or care for an older adult?

I invite you to take time to celebrate the new year and write your resolutions for 2019!

If you would like suggestions for New Year’s Eve celebrations and making resolutions, look at New Year’s Eve & Resolutions (Home Care Assistance) and New Year’s Eve Party Ideas (Medicare).

Celebrating Holidays When a Loved One Has a Dementia

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

The winter holidays are here! Thanksgiving with turkey and the trimmings, conversation, football on TV, and family games. Kwanza, Christmas and Chanukah are next. What warm memories of these celebrations many of us have and how much we would like to participate in all our usual traditions.

But . . .

We are caring for a loved one who has a dementia. Everyone is adjusting to new ways of living our daily lives. We don’t have energy for all our usual preparations. And some of the old traditions aren’t appropriate for a person who has a dementia.

How can we have our special holidays? Here are a few quick tips.

  • Adjust your celebrations.
    • Modify and simplify your traditions, keeping some of the special memories.
    • Involve your loved one in holiday activities that are comfortable and safe for him or her.
  • Communicate with family and friends.
    • Talk about your loved one’s strengths and changes.
    • Plan new traditions together.
  • Take care of yourself.
    • Ask for help with holiday tasks and caring for your loved one.
    • Arrange for respite time . . . quiet time, pampering, exercise . . . for you.

Holidays can still be special for you, your family and friends.

Enjoy the possible. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy new traditions.

For more about holiday celebrations, read the National Institute on Aging article, “Holiday Hints for Alzheimer’s Caregivers” at https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/holiday-hints-alzheimers-caregivers.

 

 

 

Too Young to Be a Grandmom?!

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

Recently, “Grandma to Be” sent a letter to advice columnist (and Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me panelist – yeah!) Amy Dickinson.

Grandma to Be wrote with pleasure that her daughter was expecting her first child. However, she also wrote that she had an 8-year-old step grandchild. She didn’t publicly acknowledge this youngster because she didn’t want her friends to think she was old enough to have been a grandparent for almost a decade.

Dickinson answered, essentially, that life happens when it happens. Embrace the reality.

Right!

And I would go even further. Embrace new paths. Embrace change. Embrace the possibilities! New paths can be exciting and joyous.

Becoming a grandparent is one new path that we may come to as we get older.  What are other paths you are considering for your life?

  • A new job
  • Retirement
  • Playing with your grandchild
  • Caring for an older relative
  • Moving to your dream home
  • Moving to a senior community
  • Taking up a new sport
  • Traveling across the United States

 

To read Grandma to Be and Amy Dickinson’s letters, go to Too Young to Be a Grandmom.

For help thinking about and planning your new paths, contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com. She will be happy to meet with you, at no cost for a sample session, to see if coaching is a good fit for you.

Staying Healthy When There’s a Nip in the Air

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

The chill in the air, frost on the windows in the early morning, bright sunshine through light gray clouds: Winter can be delightful.

For older adults, though, planning is important to ensure safe and enjoyable winter days. Let’s look at a few ideas for staying healthy:

Safety First

Service your home heater. As people get older, it is more difficult to regulate body temperature and more dangerous to stay cold. Have an HVAC service check your heater to be sure that you won’t get caught without heat on a cold day. While you are at it, be sure that portable or room heaters and carbon monoxide detectors are in excellent condition and away from flammable items.

Get ready for snow and ice. Check your supply of de-icer, if you use it, and plan ahead for someone to clear snow. Inventory your emergency supplies, including food, water, medications, batteries and a portable radio or TV, in case of power outages.

Healthy Habits

Eat a varied, colorful diet to ensure your body and brain have nutrients for top performance. What a great time to do this with warm bowls of soup and delicious cranberry whole grain muffins! Cook a big pot of vegetable soup and freeze it in pint jars to eat every week or so. Add some home-baked muffins, and you have healthful food for a December evening. (See recipe ideas at vegetable soups and muffins.)

Exercise is essential for healthy bodies and brains, but the usual neighborhood walks and trips to the gym may be out of the question some days. You can find exercises on the computer at websites such as NIA’s Go4Life, and SilverSneakers.com. Exercise at home or with a neighbor for 30 minutes five times a week.

Games and Books

Stay mentally active to keep your mind healthy. Mah Jong, Bridge, a feisty game of Monopoly, and, of course, any interesting book or magazine make you think, may reduce stress, and are perfect for a healthy brain.

Socializing

Socializing is incredibly important for a healthy body and mind. Bundle up and go to a class or have dinner with friends when you can. When it is just too cold, the telephone and computer can keep you in touch with others. Try using Skype or Facetime to see your friends on the phone or computer while you are talking!

Stay healthy and enjoy the chill in the air!

Would you like help making healthy and safe decisions for yourself or a loved one? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com to discuss your concerns and plan the next steps in a healthy and satisfying future.

Your Fulfilling Future: Planning Together

Cheryl Greenberg, Ed.D. - The Age CoachLeave a comment

So excited about our new course, “FULFILLING FUTURES,” at Shepherd’s Center of Greensboro!

Recently, a woman wrote to Amy Dickerson, the advice columnist, to say that she was embarrassed to be old enough to have an 8-year-old grandchild. Ms Dickerson told the writer to embrace her life regardless of age.

I agree. Let’s grab the rings, find the possibilities, have fun!

Are you thinking about new adventures, roles and fun? We will explore the possibilities and make plans for a “fulfilling future” May 2 – June 6, 2019. Sign up at http://www.shepctrg.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Adventures-In-Learning-Spring-Classes-2019.pdf

Look for more sessions of this workshop – or private coaching about your plans for the future – at TheAgeCoach.net or TheAgeCoach@gmail.com.