New Holiday Traditions for New Times

Fall is in the air. We are ready for pumpkin spices, sparkling holiday lights and enjoyable moments with families and friends, BUT

These are new times. Holidays this year will be different. After all, we all want to stay safe from COVID-10 and the flu.

So, how do we celebrate the holiday and still protect ourselves and our loved ones?

Here are some ideas to start your own creative ideas flowing.

Keep many of your familiar traditions.

  • Holiday meals with people who live with you

Plan favorite foods that bring back the sights and tastes of holidays past. The group may be smaller than last year, but the nostalgia will be the same.

  • Holiday decorations, cards and phone calls

Making homes special for a holiday and sharing greetings bring joy to holidays. Have you always had a jack-o-lantern or sent cards? Consider even more decorations, cards and calls this year to create holiday feelings and adjust for some of the distancing you may be feeling.

  • Gifts, food and flowers delivered to the door of loved ones

Doing for others is a special part of holidays. You can still share special treats; just stay at a distance.

  • In-person outdoor visits with people who are symptom free

Some people may choose to have time together, face to face. An outdoor heater and spiced tea will make this comfortable when the temperature drops. Of course, if choose to meet in person, be sure to wear masks, stay at least six feet apart, and wash often. Remember “Safety First!”

Create new traditions that fit today’s needs.

  • Holiday meals, decorating and sharing gift opening – at a distance, at the same time

Decide on a time to meet online and enjoy seeing each other celebrate.  Zoom, HouseParty and other digital platforms let you have dinner together, share holiday songs and candle lighting, and watch the delight of folks as they open gifts.

  • Holiday movies, concerts and travel

Invite your loved ones to download an online video of a favorite holiday movie, decorations from around the world or a holiday concert. Ask everyone to watch the program at the same time you do. Call during or after the show to chat about what you saw.

  • Sharing your favorite recipes or decorating tips

Use your phone or tablet to record you setting up a holiday display or baking special cookies. Send the video to your loved ones. Put  your phones on speaker mode and  talk them through the steps of the project while they try it out

What are your creative ideas for new traditions for new times? Sharing your ideas with others is, in itself, a way to enjoy the holidays this year.

For support during social distancing and more ideas for staying connected, join The Age Coach’s weekly online conversations. Contact TheAgeCoach@gmail.com for information.

Conversations during this Unusual Time: Join In!

I am so excited about that we now have two opportunities to support each other at this unusual time.

Consider joining the conversations. They are free, informal . . . and lovely ways to share and de-stress together!

Socializing with a Creative Touch: Ideas for Staying in Touch with Family and Friends
Wednesday through April 29 (and maybe longer!) at 3:00pm.
Zoom link: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/730077770

We know that having regular, caring and stimulating social contact is essential for older adults’ (and everyone else’s!) physical and cognitive health, but right now, visiting isn’t possible for many.

Let’s share: What can children and other caring people do? How creative can you be? Come to share and make new friends!

So How Are You Feeling Today? A Chance to Release and Relax Mondays at 1:00pm, from April 20 through May 4:
Zoom link: https://us04web.zoom.us/j/77067866776

Several of us talked about the possibility of setting up a meeting where we could share some of our feelings of discomfort and concern and, at the same time, feel the support of the group.

Join the conversation. We will share and de-stress together!

It isn’t difficult to join: Click the link (above), select “Zoom Meeting”in the blue box, and then select the blinking blue arrow on the upper right side of the screen. You will be ready to share!

Of course, email or call me if you would like to talk 1:1.

Hope to see you at the meetings!

Cheryl

Socializing Safely Today

We know that having regular, caring and stimulating social contact is vital to older adults’ (and everyone else’s!) physical and cognitive health. Sometimes, though, we have to figure out how to stay in touch when visits aren’t possible.

Right now, visiting is inadvisable for many. So, what can children and other caring people do? How creative can you be?

Here are some ideas to start the creativity ball rolling:

  • Help your loved one use digital platforms, such as Facetime or Skype; then have “face to face” conversations.
  • Send text messages full of loving emojis.
  • Email digital greeting cards and photographs.
  • Arrange for delivery of your loved one’s favorite prepared (and safe) meals.
  • Place a bucket of pansies or tulips outside a window to color the view.
  • And, of course, call often. Regular calls, even several short ones during the day, will help your loved one socialize from a distance.

The Gift of Caregiving

A Caregiver’s Story

For several years, Taylor took care of her mother, Rebecca, who had Alzheimer’s Disease. Taylor made sure that her mother was fed, bathed and dressed, had her medical needs met, and took part in activities she enjoyed. Caregiving was a 24/7 responsibility.

When Rebecca passed away, a close friend said kindly, “Taylor, you are a saint. You took excellent care of your mother for such a long time.” Taylor, however, smiled at her friend and said “This wasn’t about being a saint. Sure, it was stressful to be responsible for my mother’s needs and it was heartbreaking to see her decline. But in the end, I felt that having the opportunity to care for my mom was a gift for me.”

Caregiving: A Gift

Taking care of a person who has a disability is critically important. Providing meals, grooming, medical care, therapy and companionship make an enormous difference in the quality of the “caree’s” (the loved one or client) life. What is not as obvious is the impact of caregiving on the caregivers themselves. Caregiving is stressful, time consuming and costly, but it can also be the source of satisfaction, selflessness…and a gift.

How to See Caregiving as a Gift

Each caregiver sees the positive in different ways. However, there are some general guidelines for focusing on how caregiving enriches lives.

  • Notice the positive moments: Focus on the times your caree can’t explain why he is agitated, but you figure out what he needs and make him comfortable; the times when you enter the room and your caree breaks into an ear-to-ear smile; the times that you help your loved one enjoy a lovely spring day or reminisce about his childhood.
  • Feel their love and appreciation: Focus on the ways your caree gives and receives a hug, delights in a favorite cupcake you take to her, or uses words and gestures to say how special you are in her life.
  • Think about your relationship: Are you “giving back” to a parent who cared for you throughout your life? Are you establishing a new bond with a loved one by using words, gestures or just being nearby? Are you getting to know a person with their own unique personalities?
  • Celebrate your abilities: Recognize and congratulate yourself for being able and willing to take on caregiving. Not everyone can do this. You can and did!

After months or years of providing support, the caregiver can look back on having contributed to a loved one’s healthier and more satisfying quality of life. What greater gift can the caree and the caregiver receive?

Would you like help with caregiving? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com

Dementia Diagnosis: Doctors and Questions

When you or a loved one is concerned about the possibility of having a dementia, getting a thorough evaluation is the next step. Knowing and understanding what is happening will help you with interventions and planning.

So, what should you do? Here is a brief list of considerations and steps to take:

Select a physician.

  • Consider the physician’s knowledge and comfort regarding working with older adults.
  • Consider making an appointment with a geriatrician, a physician who is specially trained to diagnose and treat older adults. Don’t necessarily avoid other doctors, including family practitioners and internists, though; they often have the same knowledge and skills.
  • Understand that additional specialists may be included in the diagnostic and treatment process. They may include neurologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, and other specialists as needed.

Schedule a doctor’s appointment, which will include several types of examinations.

  • Physical exam, including
    • medical history
    • family medical history
    • physical exam
    • laboratory tests of blood and urine, particularly to rule out other possible causes of symptoms
    • review of prescribed medications, patient-opted medications, and supplements
  • Social and behavioral profile, particularly a log of recent changes and concerns as seen by the patient and/or others
  • Neurological exam
    • assessment of balance, reaction time, reflexes, coordination, muscle tone, speech, sensation, etc.
    • ruling out of conditions and diseases, such tumors and strokes
  • Mental status test that evaluates awareness, memory, problem solving, executive function
  • Psychological evaluation, often to rule out other causes of dementia symptoms, such as depression, anxiety, other mental illness concerns/illnesses
  • Brain scans (not routinely administered)

Ask the doctor questions to be sure you understand the diagnosis.

  • Diagnosis by name
  • Evidence that underlies the diagnosis: What did the doctor see in exams and tests that led to the diagnosis?
  • Doctor’s assessment of the current stage of the disease
  • Possible interventions, including therapies and medications
  • The role of the doctor going forward

Would you like help navigating the diagnosis process? Contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com to discuss your concerns and plan the next steps in getting and understanding a diagnosis.

Cold Weather & Dementia

It is winter . . . really winter. . . with temperatures in the teens and 20s, heavy gloves, warm soup, and a genuine reluctance to be outside if we are not skating or skiing. Still, most of us know how to navigate and even enjoy a crisp cold day.

But what about a person who has a dementia? Do you know the dangers of cold weather for older adults and individuals with dementia?

During cold weather, you may find folks

Living in cold homes without realizing the danger of being cold

Venturing outside without warm clothing or protection from wet weather

Experiencing low body temperatures as a result of taking medications or drinking alcohol

Falling on ice and becoming disoriented in snow falls

The overall concern is hypothermia, which is a condition in which the body temperature is dangerously low. Hypothermia can cause confusion, disorientation, problems with communication and behavior, and physical impairment. Hypothermia may lead to death.

Caregivers can help by being sure that older adults and individuals with dementia stay in warm environments, eat well to ensure healthy body “insulation,” and avoid activities that might lead to hypothermia.

We can also help individuals with a dementia enjoy lovely winter days. As always, care giving involves sharing positive experiences with an extra layer of safety. For our cold crisp days, let’s help our loved ones with cozy wool scarves, bowls of warm soups . . . and hand-in-hand ventures to see beautiful snow falls.

 

For a brief overview of ways to avoid and treat hypothermia, see the Alzheimer’s & Dementia Weekly article, Hypothermia.

 

Celebrating Holidays When a Loved One Has a Dementia

The winter holidays are here! Thanksgiving with turkey and the trimmings, conversation, football on TV, and family games. Kwanza, Christmas and Chanukah are next. What warm memories of these celebrations many of us have and how much we would like to participate in all our usual traditions.

But . . .

We are caring for a loved one who has a dementia. Everyone is adjusting to new ways of living our daily lives. We don’t have energy for all our usual preparations. And some of the old traditions aren’t appropriate for a person who has a dementia.

How can we have our special holidays? Here are a few quick tips.

  • Adjust your celebrations.
    • Modify and simplify your traditions, keeping some of the special memories.
    • Involve your loved one in holiday activities that are comfortable and safe for him or her.
  • Communicate with family and friends.
    • Talk about your loved one’s strengths and changes.
    • Plan new traditions together.
  • Take care of yourself.
    • Ask for help with holiday tasks and caring for your loved one.
    • Arrange for respite time . . . quiet time, pampering, exercise . . . for you.

Holidays can still be special for you, your family and friends.

Enjoy the possible. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy new traditions.

For more about holiday celebrations, read the National Institute on Aging article, “Holiday Hints for Alzheimer’s Caregivers” at https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/holiday-hints-alzheimers-caregivers.

 

 

 

Mother’s Day for Mom and Her Caregiver

Celebrating in new ways:

As we approach Mother’s Day, many of us think about how different the celebration is, now, if Mom is in the middle or late stage of Alzheimer’s Disease or another dementia. We feel sadness, but we also try to honor our mothers in ways that they will understand.

Tips abound on the Internet and in publications, and the tips are wise:

  • Simplify the celebrations.
  • Adapt your expectations about what Mom will understand and enjoy.
  • Give gifts that are meaningful today: soft items to hold, fragrant flowers, a bird feeder that Mom can watch from the living room or porch.
  • Listen to Mom’s stories about the past, if she can tell them, and tell the stories to Mom if that meets her needs better.

Still, there are important statistics that suggest there is more to do.

The majority of caregivers for older adults. . . about 2 out of 3 . . . are women; about a third of the caregivers are daughters of the older adult.

As we know, caregiving is time consuming and stressful. It causes the caregiver to put aside her needs, relaxation, hobbies and interests. While the caregiver is providing love and support, she may not have time to “receive” love and support in return.

So, on Mother’s Day this year, let’s celebrate with Mom, but let’s also celebrate the caring and generous hearts of the daughters and daughters-in-law who are by Mom’s side.

  • Provide respite for caregivers . . . time away from responsibilities.
  • Give gifts that show appreciation and provide the pampering that relieves stress: a gift certificate for a massage, tickets to an art exhibit or popular movie, a quiet meal on the patio.
  • Listen to the caregiver’s stories. She may well need to share the delights and the stresses of her caregiving days.

 

For ideas about celebrating Mother’s Day, read an article posted by the New York City Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association at Honoring  Mother’s Day When Mom Has Alzheimer’s.

For “2018 Alzheimer’s Facts and Figures” (and caregiving statistics), go to https://www.alz.org/facts/.

 

Caregiving: Can You Make Medical Decisions?

Who Can Make Medical Decisions in a World with HIPPA?

American’s medical records are protected by the Health Information Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). Neither friends nor relatives have access to our medical information without the express consent of the patient.

This is usually comforting in a world with so much data and so much communication!

But what happens when a senior needs help with his or her medical decisions? What happens if there are end of life decisions to be made?

Three legal documents give others insight and permissions on behalf of a senior.

  • HIPAA authorization gives permission to the doctor to share medical information with the person(s) that the patient names.
  • An advance health care directive (living will) lists/describes an individual’s preferences about medical care, including whether certain life-sustaining treatments should be administered.
  • A medical power of attorney (health care proxy, durable power of attorney for health care) identifies someone who can act on behalf of the individual if needed.

It is not always comfortable to think about illness and end of life decisions. However, there are many resources available that can help. Attorneys are skilled at advising and preparing the documents. Information and forms are available in print and on the Internet, as well.

For a brief description of medical powers of attorney and living wills, look at WebMD.com’s Advance Directives.

 

Is This Dementia? Memory Changes

He isn’t remembering well. Does He Have a Dementia?

How often has a loved one forgotten something and, for a split second, you said to yourself, “Why didn’t he remember that? What does this mean? Should I be concerned?” Here are guidelines to help you.

The car keys are missing. Is he losing his memory?!

  • We all put our house keys down and forget where we put them.
  • We forget a name even though we know the person.
  • We go to the supermarket for eggs and come home with coffee, bread . . . but no eggs.

Are these signs of dementia?

Everyone forgets from time to time. As we get older, we forget more often.

However, it is not a sign of dementia if we can remember the keys, name and eggs after a little while and our forgetting doesn’t stop us from carrying out our normal activities.

Some forgetting is normal. Taking a little longer to remember as we get older is also normal.

Memory changes that interfere with independent activities – our work, social life, conversations, reading and learning – may indicate a health problem that should be checked by a doctor.

These memory changes may include

  • Not being able to find the right words to express something, not following a conversation, or having difficult completing a thought
  • Forgetting names of people and places
  • Being confused about where one is, not knowing how to get to a familiar location, or not being able to retrace one’s steps
  • Having difficulty recalling the information needed to make appropriate judgements and decisions
  • Not recalling where an item has been placed even with time and effort

HelpGuide.org offers a quick look at how to figure out what forgetting the car keys might indicate at What Does My Forgetting Mean?