Celebrating in new ways:
As we approach Mother’s Day, many of us think about how different the celebration is, now, if Mom is in the middle or late stage of Alzheimer’s Disease or another dementia. We feel sadness, but we also try to honor our mothers in ways that they will understand.
Tips abound on the Internet and in publications, and the tips are wise:
- Simplify the celebrations.
- Adapt your expectations about what Mom will understand and enjoy.
- Give gifts that are meaningful today: soft items to hold, fragrant flowers, a bird feeder that Mom can watch from the living room or porch.
- Listen to Mom’s stories about the past, if she can tell them, and tell the stories to Mom if that meets her needs better.
Still, there are important statistics that suggest there is more to do.
The majority of caregivers for older adults. . . about 2 out of 3 . . . are women; about a third of the caregivers are daughters of the older adult.
As we know, caregiving is time consuming and stressful. It causes the caregiver to put aside her needs, relaxation, hobbies and interests. While the caregiver is providing love and support, she may not have time to “receive” love and support in return.
So, on Mother’s Day this year, let’s celebrate with Mom, but let’s also celebrate the caring and generous hearts of the daughters and daughters-in-law who are by Mom’s side.
- Provide respite for caregivers . . . time away from responsibilities.
- Give gifts that show appreciation and provide the pampering that relieves stress: a gift certificate for a massage, tickets to an art exhibit or popular movie, a quiet meal on the patio.
- Listen to the caregiver’s stories. She may well need to share the delights and the stresses of her caregiving days.
For ideas about celebrating Mother’s Day, read an article posted by the New York City Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association at Honoring Mother’s Day When Mom Has Alzheimer’s.
For “2018 Alzheimer’s Facts and Figures” (and caregiving statistics), go to https://www.alz.org/facts/.