Inviting You to Holding Space: Supporting People in Pain

When we are in pain, uncertainty, grief…
having space held for us
reduces the suffering of isolation and supports us in our challenges.

We sometimes back away from those in pain
because we don’t know what to say…
because we fear hurting them with the wrong words…
because their pain stirs our own fears so profoundly.

Let’s talk about finding words and actions that support others when they are challenged.

Join a conversation with me and Business and Empowerment Coach, SB Rawz, The conversations will be 45 minutes, confidential…and free.

Sunday, November 19, 11:00 AM EST

Wednesday, December 6, 3:00 PM EST

Monday, December 11, 8:00 PM EST

RSVP at calendly.com/sbrawz/holding-space or to me at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com

Feeling a Little Discouraged by Virus Concerns? Sing a Song!

“I don’t sing because I’m happy; I’m happy because I sing.” – William James

What a great thought! We are looking for ways to feel happy and engaged while still coping with pandemic concerns and rules. How about singing?

If music is not a big part of your life, consider this:

  • Singing familiar songs reduces stress: Breaking into song signals the brain to send hormones (endorphins) through your brain and body that make you feel more content and less stressed. And as researchers have shown, decreasing stress improves overall health and longevity!
  • Singing connects you to pleasant memories: Even people who have concerns about how well they remember find that songs from their childhood or their first love come back to them when they sing, with all the words and feelings they had when they were younger.
  • Singing improves brain function: When you sing, you use many parts of your brain and build new pathways between the cells in your brain. This improves your ability to remember and increases your brain’s “reserve” for remembering in the future.
  • Singing can increase social interactions: Singing in a choir or singing at home with family is not only fun but gives you a chance to build social connections. People who have close bonds with others are happier and healthier.
  • Music has a direct impact on mood and wellness; it has been shown to ease pain, shorten recovery time from illness, and lift feelings of anxiety and depression: How about singing out loud or listening to a favorite playlist?
  • And let’s add some movement to increase the benefits: Tapping your feet, swaying to the rhythm, or whirling around the room with your best version of Beyoncé or Mozart is terrific for the brain and body. Each time you move to music, challenging your brain to coordinate dance steps and melodies, you exercise your muscles, build cardiovascular health and improve your ability to  remember and think.

Singing, dancing  . . . music in general . . . are good for your health, enjoyable, and with the challenges of the pandemic, a particularly helpful way to reduce stress!

Dr. Cheryl Greenberg works as a coach, or guide, for seniors and their families as they consider and plan for changes in their lives. During the pandemic, she leads support groups to help folks stay engaged in creative ways. To join a group or coach with Cheryl, contact her at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com or 336-202-5669.

Staying Engaged during the Pandemic

We are tired of COVID. We are bored with Zoom meetings and missing our friends and family. Days seem to repeat themselves and, as I hear often from coaching clients, we have more time on our hands, but we seem to be doing less.

It’s OK. We can handle this . . . and we should handle it.

After all, we know that staying actively engaged in work, play and social activities is very important to our mental and physical health and even to our ability to remember and problem solve.

So, what are some creative ways we can jump through the hoops of COVID caution for a while longer?

Congratulate Yourself for Your Successes

First, congratulate yourself for the creative ways you have already stayed active and connected to other people.

Noticing your flexibility and creativity is good for your self-esteem, which in turn increases the “healthy hormones” in your body and brain. You remember better, feel happier and are healthier when you have a sense of accomplishment.

Connect with Others

Many people report that they have adjusted to having less face-to-face time with family and friends and have learned to fly solo for work and entertainment.

However, Dr. Susan Pinker tells us that having regular social contact is incredibly important for our physical and mental health. People who are in regular contact with others have fewer health problems, remember better and even live longer!

So, let’s think of new ways to stay closely connected with others.

  • Invite friends to join you for a book group or a virtual tour of Europe.
  • Use an app, such as Netflix Plus, to watch an award winning movie with family members and discuss the film.
  • Schedule online problem solving meetings for work and volunteering.
  • Use a meeting platform to share your new baking (carpentry, gardening or decorating) skills with family. Invite them to work along with you while you give advice.

Commit to New Learning and Adventures

Create new activities that challenge you physically and mentally. This will perk you up, motivate you, get you involved. And, as Dr. Sanjay Gupta writes, novel activities encourage brains to form new cells and pathways; they improve memory and thinking!

  • Have you wanted to be an advocate for social justice, decreasing hunger, consumer rights? Reach out to local libraries, community centers, interfaith organizations to ask how you can help.
  • Have you always wanted to learn another language or build a computer? Find classes online through university emeritus programs, Shepherd’s Centers, art museums and libraries.
  • Local and national organizations need virtual volunteers. Contact VolunteerMatch.com or local organizations, such as the Volunteer Center of the Triad to match your interests with community needs.
  • Exercise is good for your body and brain . . . and can be done with others virtually. Try a fitness activity that is new and challenging, such as tai chi, yoga or strength training.

Most importantly, create your own connections and adventures for staying engaged during the pandemic. Share them with others and “jump through the hoop of COVID cautions” for a little while longer.

Celebrating Holidays When a Loved One Has a Dementia

The winter holidays are here! Thanksgiving with turkey and the trimmings, conversation, football on TV, and family games. Kwanza, Christmas and Chanukah are next. What warm memories of these celebrations many of us have and how much we would like to participate in all our usual traditions.

But . . .

We are caring for a loved one who has a dementia. Everyone is adjusting to new ways of living our daily lives. We don’t have energy for all our usual preparations. And some of the old traditions aren’t appropriate for a person who has a dementia.

How can we have our special holidays? Here are a few quick tips.

  • Adjust your celebrations.
    • Modify and simplify your traditions, keeping some of the special memories.
    • Involve your loved one in holiday activities that are comfortable and safe for him or her.
  • Communicate with family and friends.
    • Talk about your loved one’s strengths and changes.
    • Plan new traditions together.
  • Take care of yourself.
    • Ask for help with holiday tasks and caring for your loved one.
    • Arrange for respite time . . . quiet time, pampering, exercise . . . for you.

Holidays can still be special for you, your family and friends.

Enjoy the possible. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy new traditions.

For more about holiday celebrations, read the National Institute on Aging article, “Holiday Hints for Alzheimer’s Caregivers” at https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/holiday-hints-alzheimers-caregivers.

 

 

 

Too Young to Be a Grandmom?!

Recently, “Grandma to Be” sent a letter to advice columnist (and Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me panelist – yeah!) Amy Dickinson.

Grandma to Be wrote with pleasure that her daughter was expecting her first child. However, she also wrote that she had an 8-year-old step grandchild. She didn’t publicly acknowledge this youngster because she didn’t want her friends to think she was old enough to have been a grandparent for almost a decade.

Dickinson answered, essentially, that life happens when it happens. Embrace the reality.

Right!

And I would go even further. Embrace new paths. Embrace change. Embrace the possibilities! New paths can be exciting and joyous.

Becoming a grandparent is one new path that we may come to as we get older.  What are other paths you are considering for your life?

  • A new job
  • Retirement
  • Playing with your grandchild
  • Caring for an older relative
  • Moving to your dream home
  • Moving to a senior community
  • Taking up a new sport
  • Traveling across the United States

 

To read Grandma to Be and Amy Dickinson’s letters, go to Too Young to Be a Grandmom.

For help thinking about and planning your new paths, contact Dr. Cheryl Greenberg at TheAgeCoach@gmail.com. She will be happy to meet with you, at no cost for a sample session, to see if coaching is a good fit for you.